The Power of Connection: What a Publicist to Billion-Dollar Brands Taught Me About Backing Yourself
At 24 years old, with no media connections and no money, Tory Archbold was told by a friend over coffee that she should forget starting a PR company and go marry a nice guy instead.
She walked out of that coffee date, backed herself, and went on to build Torstar, one of Australia's most high profile brand and communications agencies. Over 20 years she launched some of the world's biggest brands into this market, including Zara (whose Sydney launch drew 22,000 people and is regularly called Australia's most successful retail launch), Seafolly, Nespresso, Victoria's Secret and Drew Barrymore's Flower Beauty. She then closed her agency at the top of her game and founded Powerful Steps, a platform helping women own their story and build their brand.
I have known Tory since my freelance journalism days in New York, and when she came on my podcast she delivered a masterclass in connection, visibility and self-belief. Here are the lessons every business owner can steal.
The three coffee dates: 45 minutes a week that change everything
Tory's entire career runs on one non-negotiable habit: three coffee dates a week, in person or virtual.
- Someone in your tribe. A person you already know. Reconnect, swap what is happening in each other's worlds, and ask how you can help each other.
- Someone you want to partner with. A potential collaborator, client, media outlet or advocate. Reach out, explain what you have to offer, and frame it as a mutually beneficial exchange.
- Someone who makes you think big. The out-of-reach name on your wish list. Tory's includes Oprah and Michelle Obama, and she is not joking. When she wanted to interview Oprah's former chief of staff on her podcast, she found a mutual connection on LinkedIn, asked them to advocate for her, and four months later the interview happened.
Forty-five minutes a week. That is the whole system. And as Tory puts it, the women who commit to it watch opportunities start presenting themselves within weeks: media features, radio spots, partnerships. Not by magic, but because they became visible and made the calls.
Ask people to advocate for you
The tactical engine behind Tory's connections is beautifully simple: LinkedIn mutual connections, plus the courage to ask.
Her favourite proof: when she heard Victoria's Secret was coming to Australia, her agency had not even been considered for the account because she had stepped back from the spotlight. The pitch was already in its second round. Her own team told her it was too late.
She sent her credentials through anyway at 7pm. Then she found the decision maker on LinkedIn, identified their mutual connections, and messaged each one: "We're pitching for Victoria's Secret. I know you know this person. Can you advocate for me?" By 11pm that night she was one of two agencies shortlisted. She won the account.
Her explanation is the line every business owner should print out: "I back myself. I know I've launched the biggest brands into this market. I back myself."
Take your business out of its comfort zone. That becomes the story.
This is Tory's PR genius distilled into one principle, and it is pure gold for anyone pitching the media.
Her example: Seafolly had never done a runway show. They attended a trade show in Paris every year, and Tory spotted the opportunity to stage their first ever overseas parade while she was already in town for another client. Same swimsuits, shoestring budget, but suddenly the story was "Australian swimwear brand shows in Paris". It ran everywhere. That kind of global positioning helped build the brand into one that eventually sold for a reported figure near nine figures.
The principle: a brand doing its usual thing in its usual place is not news. Take an ordinary business idea out of its comfort zone, and that is the story. Australians especially love hearing about Australians doing well overseas, but the logic works at any scale. What could you do that makes people go "I did not expect that"?
Forget vanity metrics. Chase the right people.
Tory is blunt about follower counts and list sizes: they are vanity metrics if the audience is wrong.
Thirty thousand followers mean nothing if most of them could never be your customers. A huge media database means nothing if nobody answers your call. What matters is the quality of the customer, the return rate, and whether every touchpoint adds value.
Her proof point: she tested an event idea with a small email list of a couple of hundred clients. Tickets were $350. Twelve people bought in the first eight minutes. A small pool of the right people who believe in your product will always beat a big pool of the wrong ones. The same is true when you pitch media: a handful of genuine journalist relationships outperforms a spray-and-pray database every time.
Own your story, including the hard parts
For 20 years, Tory was the publicist in black at the back of the room, making magic happen for everyone else. The turning point in her career came when she realised she could become a brand herself, and that meant owning her whole story.
Behind the glossy agency success, Tory had spent 12 years as a single mother and is a survivor of domestic abuse, something she never spoke about publicly for fear of judgement and losing clients. When she finally shared her full story in a three-page Marie Claire feature, two high-profile media men warned her it would kill her career and that no brand would ever touch her again.
The opposite happened. Brands around the world reached out asking how they could support her. The story gave her permission to become a voice and advocate for others, and Powerful Steps was born from it. She has since mentored hundreds of women, including Telstra Business Awards winners, board directors and CEOs.
Her advice for anyone nervous about sharing their story: you do not have to share every part of it, but keep it raw and real. People are attracted to the parts of your story they see themselves in, which means the challenges, not just the highlight reel. And once it is out there, it is liberating. When you own your story, you own your power, and you naturally attract the opportunities you deserve.
The takeaway
Tory's playbook is not complicated. Make space for three intentional connections a week. Use mutual connections and ask people to advocate for you. When an opportunity looks closed, back yourself and pitch anyway. Create your story by taking your business somewhere unexpected. Value the right audience over the big audience. And own who you are, all of it, because that is what people actually connect with.
Nothing on that list needs a budget. Every item on it needs courage. As Tory would say: it is not "can I do it?", it is "I will do it".
Liz Nable is a former TV news journalist and the founder of Media Masters Academy, where she teaches small business owners how to land free media coverage and build their reputation as industry experts. This post is based on an episode of her podcast. Listen to the full conversation with Tory Archbold for the stories behind the stories.
